Sunday, 19 May 2013

A Stay At Home Mum never clocks off

Your hair is plastered across your face, toddler hanging off your leg and  your teenager is yelling at you for making them get off Facebook.


You look though the kitchen window and see your husbands car pull up in the drive. He steps out of the car.

It's like a halo surrounds him, angels are singing.... you are finally going to get a break!


That is reality hitting you in the face

This is what really happened:

  • He walks in the door, letting the dog barge in complete with dirty paws
  • Kicks off his shoes  and smelly socks and flops of the couch, remote in hand and begins to complain about how tired  and hungry he is.  

You sigh to yourself. Sleep-ins, relaxation and quiet moments of reflection   are about as real as magical cleaning fairies and um... flying pigs.

Want some time to yourself?  Huh? What’s that? Oh Never mind….

Without giving your man a good kick up the bum (or having a nervous breakdown) here are some ways to help you lighten the load. Just remember NOT to share them with hubby should you ever go back to work. You will have a little bit of joy inside you watching him struggle when HE thought you had it easy. He he he

Use his income $$$ to get your home as low maintenance and as organised as possible.
This means:-

  • Pavers/Concrete/Potplants
  • Less to weed, water or mow.
  • Carpet (if no pets that drop a mountain of hair) or floorboards/tiles for easy vaccuming of the presents from your 4 legged cousin ITS.


  • Storage tubs/ toy nets. The easy way to throw everything in and put it in a cupboard. Clutter? What clutter?
  • -Minimal horizontal surfaces means less dumping stations for others. Get rid of excess furniture, shelving and ornaments. Keep things only that have either beauty, value or serve a purpose in your home.
  • Frames on walls rather than on surfaces etc.  Yay to  Less dusting!
  • Fandangle vacuum cleaner so you don’t need to go over the same spot again and again and ….well again.
  • Get that dishwasher you have always been wanting. Massive time saver
  • Depending on the age of the child, a baby carrier. I personally love the Ergobaby. Whack it on your back with bubba in and off you go! Vaccuming, shopping, mowing…. Ok probably not mowing I’m fairly sure grass isn’t on their list of vital nutrients.
  • Also make the time on the weekend  to do a really big cleanout( or maybe a school day so the kids don’t realise you threw out half their toys and clothes.


  • Choosing and buying clothes for the family that require minimal ironing
  • Make it clear clothes washing happens once a week only and that it won’t be washed if it doesn't make it to the basket on its own accord (might have to be a bit flexible with the kids)

  • Key Hooks with a shelf for the wallets, glasses etc right near the door ( some “everything has a home” training may be required)
  • Ensure family has enough clothes to get them through a week without you washing
  • Organiser tray for mail in, mail out, bills to pay, for filing
  • Whiteboard and corkboard for children’s school notices, must remembers and well something to doodle on while you are hold to Telstra for an hour
  • Calendar for all those doctors appointments, excursions etc
  • Cash tin for last minute canteen lunches, bus money or casual day gold coin donations ( or donations to the stressed out mum foundation)
  • Get yourself some nice walking shoes. (Well if you can’t fit in the gym 3x a week you might as well have some nice shoes to run your errands in to burn those calories)

  • Invest in a slow cooker and get your google on, finding recipes that you can pop in the cooker and walk away- yep all the way to the nail salon!
  • Cook in bulk once a week and freeze so you can have a few re-heat nights. If you pull it out an hour or two before hubby gets home he will be none the wiser. Think lasagne, curry, bolognaise, apricot chicken, casseroles. You can also makes cakes/slices and freeze in cut portions for kids lunchboxes.
  • Get your login for Coles and Woolworths and order your groceries online and pick them up or have them delivered to your door for roughly an extra $9.00

  • Try car pooling with other mums for the soccer matches  or school pick ups
  • Get the kids involved in  cleaning the car for pocket money ( or maybe if they would like to eat for the next 5-10 years)
  • Fill up the car every time you see fuel cheap – the money you save can be spent on … well you. After all you deserve it supermum!

  • Use internet banking and make full use of direct debiting. Even if you direct debit a chunk of money to your power bill each month you may have nothing left to dash to the post office to pay in the quarter.
  • Most private health claims can be done online as can Centrelink queries

  • Get scented bin liners. That way if you haven’t had a chance to empty it yet at least hubby won’t be alerted by the bad smell
  •  If you have a fireplace, stuff all your paperwork/tissues in it.  You’ll have your fire almost set to warm up the house and you won’t have to empty the bin as often. WINNING!

But if none of these work- I suggest:

  •  Becoming a REALLY bad cook. If your food is inedible he might just get up off his bum and cook something himself.
  • Let the kids scream through his favourite TV show and pretend you are in a coma, maybe he will put them to bed
  • Cry. Lots of big drippy tears. Men hate that and will look for a way to get away from it. Maybe even go do the dishes???
  • Hide his Jack Daniels and then use as a reward for good behaviour. You might have to hide the keys too so he cant drive off to get more...

Deep breaths and good luck...

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